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Scooby-Doo Meets Batman

by on March 19, 2011

I once believed that Batman and Robin was the corniest Batman movie ever. After watching “Scooby-Doo Meets Batman”, I have to say…I was wrong. Really wrong. Oy.

“Scooby-Doo Meets Batman” is a collection of two Scooby-Doo episodes where the gang teams up with the Dynamic Duo to battle the Joker and the Penguin, and succeeded mostly through sheer stupidity and silliness. I could give you a play-by-play of all two episodes, but that would entail me watching them again, and I don’t think my sanity could survive. So let’s just go over a few of the highlights (so to speak), shall we?

1) Throughout the two episodes, the Joker and the Penguin refer to each other by various names like “my fine-feathered fiend” or “you lanky lord of looniness”, etc. That’s corny enough in and of itself, but then the Joker tops it by twice referring to Penguin as “Pengy-Wengy”. ….Pengy-Wengy? Joker, old fellow, is there something you’re not telling us?

2) In the first episode, Batman, Robin and the gang are investigating the disappearance of a farmhouse out in the middle of the woods. Batman suggests the fascinating theory that the farmhouse was actually caused by “group hypnosis! It was all a dream!” Velma sensibly points out that “it wasn’t all a dream; the Batmobile’s disappeared too. It was parked right outside the porch.”

Yes. Batman didn’t even notice that his own car had vanished until Velma pointed it out to him. World’s Greatest Detective, my foot.

But not to worry, folks, Batman announces that this is a lucky break! Because he left a tracer in the Batmobile, so now all they have to do is go back to the Batcave and track its location on the computer! ….This is actually quite a brilliant idea. So then Batman and Robin jump in the Batmobile and race back to the Batcave and…..waiiiiit.

Yep. The Dynamic Duo apparently never stopped to ask how they were supposed to get back to the Batcave to trace the Batmobile if the Batmobile was stolen to begin with. It’s a good thing the Scooby Gang was there to give them a ride in the Mystery Machine.

3) When they get back to the Batcave, Batman hospitably offers Scooby and Shaggy a snack. But not just any snack, oh no; Bat-milk and Bat-cookies! ….the milk just looks like ordinary milk, so apparently they just stuck the Bat on there for the fun of it. But the cookies are actually shaped like little bats. Why Batman would feel the need to bake cookies in Bat-shapes, I’ve no idea.

4) Later in that episode, the Caped Crusaders are searching a haunted house for the Joker and the Penguin. Batman remarks that “this passageway must lead somewhere!” The Joker announces over the house’s PA system that “yes, that passageway does lead somewhere…to YOUR DOOM!” Then, without even putting the microphone down, he tells “Pengy-Wengy” that he’s going to lure Batman and Robin into the “Room of Doom”. Presumably Batman and Robin heard that, or maybe they didn’t, it doesn’t matter. The following exchange ensues.

Batman: “Look, Robin! A door!”  (This was in case Robin was under the impression that the wooden panel with a knob in the wall in front of them was in fact a trained monkey or a vacuum cleaner).

The Joker: “Yes, a door! And I’m right behind it! But you’ll never catch me!”

Robin: “Let’s break it down!”

*punch! break!*

Robin: “Holy pitfaaaaaaaaaaalls….”

*cut to Fred outside*

“I’ve got a feeling that Batman and Robin are in trouble! Let’s go inside and see if they need help!”

Yes, the Room of Doom was a long elavator shaft-type chamber, down which Batman and Robin fell. They landed on a pile of inflatable clowns (don’t ask). And…that’s it. There’s no crushing walls, no poison gas, no spikes, not even a dynamite bomb hidden in one of the clowns. It’s just…a pit. (Joker: Our pit is full! How pit-i-ful! *groan*).This isn’t a Room of Doom; it’s more like a Room of Mild Annoyance.

But alas, the Room of Mild Annoyance proves too much for our heroes. They discuss briefly the possibility of using their Bat-lines to climb out, dismiss that idea (the walls are too smooth! curses!) , and then spend the rest of the episode waiting uselessly in the Room of Mild Annoyance until the Joker and the Penguin fall into it. Yes, the Joker and the Penguin, while fleeing from Scooby-Doo and the Gang, forgot about their own trap, see the door, and run through it. Whoops.

5) “Batman! What’s that?” “Merely sound effects, Robin, recorded on tape by talented professional thespians!”

6) Batman and Robin really need to invest in better security for their vehicles. In the first episode, the Batmobile was made off with; in the second, the Joker and the Penguin steal the Bat-copter. They just fly off with it.What, does Robin leave the keys in the vehicle every time? Honestly.

7) “As the Penguin, I have an affinity for seals! And so now I’ll seal them in!”  *groan*.

8 ) “Look, it’s the hooded man!” “We’ll never get him now, he’s on a unicycle!”

…I don’t know which is worse: the fact that the villain thought a unicycle was the best choice of getaway vehicles, or that Fred, Daphne, and Velma assumed that this would automatically ensure his escape.

9) Batman and Robin consistently refer to the Joker and the Penguin as “master criminals”, so evil that when they’re disguised as a dryad and a troll (don’t ask) and they mysteriously vanish (Gasp!) and Robin wonders whether they were really spirits, Batman says that he wishes they were, because “the Joker and the Penguin are much more evil than real spirits could be!”   So in the second episode, the Joker and the Penguin have kidnapped Professor Flakey (that man’s life in high school must’ve been hell) and are forcing him to disclose the location of his sighing flute, er, flying suit. (Professor Flakey has a thing about making verbal slips. He does this. A lot.).The Joker does the customary “Tell us where it is, or else!” routine, Professor Flakey promptly tells them, and then the Joker and the Penguin notice that Batman, Robin, and the Scooby Gang have found the series of caverns wherein they are hiding. So they walk away to deal with those meddling kids, leaving the professor….all by himself. Completely unguarded. They don’t even tie him up. They don’t even make an effort to conceal the button that opens the secret door that leads from the cave. Professor Flakey finds the button in a minute and gets away. ….if those are master criminals, I’d hate to see the ordinary ones.

10) After more wacky hijinks, we reach the showdown at the factory where the flying suit is hidden. Professor Flakey has noted that it’s in a box with a label; actually, it’s hanging on a peg on the wall, right out in the open. Either way, he gets there first, thinks that the Joker and the Penguin are about to break in and steal the suit. “They may get me, but they won’t get my sighing flute, er, flying suit!” An admirable decision; unfortunately, instead of, say, destroying the suit so they really can’t get it, Professor Flakey just hurls it out the window. Turns out what he thought were the Joker and the Penguin’s footsteps were actually Batman and Robin, and the Joker and Penguin are running around outside. Oops. But not to worry, the suit miraculously lands on Scooby. Shaggy, not realizing that this suit is the actual flying suit they were trying to rescue (Shaggy’s not the brightest bulb in the pack, which in this crowd is saying something), inadvertently turns it on, and Scooby goes whizzing away into the night. Batman and Robin make some rather futile efforts to rescue him in the Bat-copter, which they stole back. (Don’t ask). Then the Penguin decides to retrieve the suit by throwing his umbrella at it like a javelin. Only he misses, and hits the giant Batman-balloon. (The flying suit, as it happens was hidden at the Gotham Rubber Company, which is why there’s giant balloons of Santa, Fred Flinstone, Yogi Bear, Robin, and Batman just randomly floating around outside.) The Bat-Balloon falls through the air, and lands…right on top of the Joker and the Penguin, who in their attempt to escape ran smack under it. Master criminals!

And so ends two exciting adventures of Batman, Robin, and Scooby-Doo, thrilling tales that make Batman and Robin look like The Dark Knight. Thank heaven there were only two. I don’t think the world could survive any more.

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3 Comments
  1. Great analysis of a classic (!) cartoon! Good work as usual.

    • Thanks; it’s a classic all right, rather in the same way as Pompeii and the Hindenburg disaster. 😛

  2. Embrace the terrible, my friend!

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