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She Sailed Away: A Haiku

by on June 11, 2011

This week, for Prompt Twenty-three of the Chrysalis Experiment, I elected not to do a 1000-10,000 word story, but a 333 or more word series of haiku, based both on the prompt and the classic children’s song, “The Crocodile Song.” It’s the one about the lady who sailed away on a sunny summer day, and you know the rest. πŸ˜›

“No, Marjorie, no!

You must not ride that fiendish

Crocodile. Oy.”

 

“Ha,” said Marjorie.

“I laugh. Like crazed hyena

Eating deer. Ha. Ha.

I will ride it. I

Have tamed the horrid beastie

He is like so cute.”

 

“CUTE?” exclaimed Prince Bob.

“He is a vicious eating

Machine! See his teeth!”

 

“He is not vicious.

I have named him Snuggly-poo.”

She gave it a pat.

“And I shall now ride

Snuggly-poo down the Nile.

It will be fun, yes?”

 

“It will be fun, NO.

Princess Caitlin would never

Think of doing this.”

 

“Caitlin is a big

Dork. Her guard is a short mime.

Not very impressive.

Now, as I have said

I will ride Snuggly-poo down

The Nile. I love him!”

 

“Hmph,” hmphed Prince Bob. “Hmph.”

When Snuggly-poo eats you, don’t

Say you were not warned.

He will bite your head

Om nom nom nom. And then he-

OMG! ZOMBIES!”

 

“Zombies? Oh please, Bob.”

Like I would really fall for

That silly trick-” UUUUUUUUURG.”

“Wait. Bob, I’m not sure.

Is urg one syllable or

Two?” “WHO CARES! RUN! RUN!”

 

The zombies came on

Moaning like horrible things

That moan. Urg. Urg. Urg.

 

They surrounded poor

Lady Marjorie and Bob.

Things looked super bad.

 

Then, out of nowhere,

Snuggly-poo! Heroic! Brave!

Eating the zombies!

 

Then one zombie bit

Poor doomed Snuggly-poo.He died

Then came back all wrong.

 

“Oh no no!” she screamed.

“My nose of hope is stuffed up

With snot of despair!”

 

“Fear not!” exclaimed Bob.

“For tissue wipes away snot,

And we may yet live!”

 

Marjorie thought hard

For a new nose metaphor.

“I got zilch,” she said.

 

Then Bob recalled his

Rifle. He pulled it out and

Bam bam. Double-tap.

 

The zombies were gone

And so was Zombie Snuggly-

Poo. Hip hip hooray.

 

“Well, that is just great.

What will I do for fun now?”

she said, very mad.

 

Bob sighed. “Why don’t you

Go read a book. Books are fun!”

“Blow it out your ear.”

 

 

 

 

 

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5 Comments
  1. Another great lyrical masterpiece. Well done!

  2. Genius!! Puuuuure genius! πŸ˜‰

  3. Thanks, guys! I confess, I had planned to follow the song exactly, and then, well….zombies. Life happens like that. πŸ™‚

  4. Hooray that you wrote verse for this one! Confession though; I don’t know the Crocodile Song. I shall Google it. Snuggly Poo. Heroic. Brave. Eating the zombies….*laughing* what’s not to like? I laughed all through this.

  5. It’s a classic, that song is. Of course, in the original the crocodile just ate the lady, not the zombies, and it wasn’t named. more children’s songs should have zombies, I think.

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