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Cass

by on July 7, 2012

This post was written for the Trifecta weekend writing challenge, which was to do a story based on the line: “The world will end in three days.” Enjoy!”

“MUFFINS!” she yelled, her voice rising like a hysterical kazoo over the sirens, car horns, and general bustling sounds of the city. Seeing that no one was paying much attention to her, she ran to a passing stranger and grabbed at his coat. “You, sir, you ate a muffin this morning for breakfast, I can sense its blueberry emanations in your aural penumbra, but you shouldn’t have! YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE! You don’t know what’s coming!”

“What the hell?” the man responded, considerably freaked out, as you might be too, were a strange person to grab hold of you in the street and start ranting about muffins, as she continued to do.

“Repent, sir, I implore you! Forsake the muffin ways and swear loyalty to the one true god of pastries, Cremicus, or surely your whole world shall be destroyed!”

The man jerked himself free and bolted, tearing off wildly down the street, which did wonders for his cardiovascular system. “No!” she yelled after him, then turned to direct her pleading to the other passersby in the street. “Please, people, you must hear me! Your world will end next Tuesday at 11 AM Eastern time (10 AM central) unless you come to terms with your muffiny sins! Please!”

But no one listened. And so, next Tuesday at 11:23 (the aliens were a tick late,  traffic on the hyperspatial lanes being what it was), Earth was promptly and thoroughly destroyed. Except for her, of course; she had hitched a ride with the mermaid evacuation. Mermaids had, fortunately, sworn off muffins decades before.

 

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8 Comments
  1. MufFiny sins. Lol!

    Seriously, you are channeling Douglas Adams here. My favorite ! 🙂

    • Douglas Adams is a treasure. I reread the series recently; they get better every time. 🙂

  2. That was cool. 🙂

  3. lmao XD that was amazing!! it reminds me of something my friends & I would write as we passed notes in high school (though, our tale involved penguins, rafiki’s stick and ninja squirrels…)

    • The world needs more stories that involves penguins, Rafiki’s stick, and ninja squirrels, I think. 🙂

  4. Thanks so much for linking up with Trifecta this weekend. I loved this little tale–just enough absurdity to keep the reader on her toes. Great job with the prompt! Hope you’ll come back soon.

  5. Nice answer to the challenge, my friend!

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