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Science

by on August 16, 2012

This story was written for Trifecta’s weekend writing prompt. Enjoy!

There is an old saying: home is where the heart is. For Farthington Milroy, this was literally true. He had the heart of a manatee in a sealed container hidden in the secret vault underneath the pool table. Mad scientists tend to take a rather warped view of old sayings. Farthington, as it happened, needed the heart of a manatee for his latest diabolical experiment; being the sworn enemy of Fillmore Streamlet and the agency he worked for, Farthington felt he was contractually obligated to do such experiments. Sometimes he thought about trying something non-diabolical, like studying photosynthesis or analyzing genetics in order to prevent certain diseases. At those times he would sternly lecture himself. “Buck up, old boy,” he’d said, in his usual pretentious way. “You’re a mad scientist, dontcha know. You’ve got to twist the laws of nature in unspeakable ways, what?” Then he’d go and do something horrible to a guinea pig. It was his way.

He had naturally been terribly disappointed when Fillmore and Cyan had escaped his jellyfish trap. Farthington had gone to so much trouble, too; procuring poisonous box jellyfish is no easy, or inexpensive task, and he’d been very much put out when they all got flash-frozen. But the situation hadn’t gone completely pear-shaped; Fillmore still had the Sacred Tally Book of Seshata. He had no idea of its true power, the fool. But Farthington did. Oh, Farthington did. He allowed himself a villainous laugh. It seemed the thing to do.

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12 Comments
  1. What a delightful character. This is so Austin powers :). Does he capture the heros and then talk and talk ad talk giving them ample time to escape? He just not a good villain if he doesn’t 😉

    • I’m sure he will; I fear Farthington, like myself, has not seen Austin Powers, and therefore does not realize the dangers of monologuing. 😛

  2. I am trying to imagine what kind of experiment would require a manatee’s heart, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want to know!

  3. But the situation hadn’t gone completely pear shaped. And. He allowed himself a villainous laugh. It seemed the thing to do. Absolutely delicious language. Also love the stern lecture. I enjoyed this completely.

    • I’d heard the phrase “gone completely pear-shaped” somewhere else, and I was just dying to use it in a story soon. 🙂

  4. Evil quirk. Perfect names. And you drop the poor guinea pig on the reader like “horrible” is yesterday’s news. Love it.

    • I can’t even explain how I came up with the villain’s name; it just popped into my head.

  5. Hehehe…I like how you followed up the cliche ‘home is where the heart is’ with something unexpected – like a manatee heart in a jar for an experiment.

  6. Wow! This is a crazy ride you’re taking us on. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the words “manatee heart” in one sentence before. It’s a striking imagine. Thanks so much for linking up with us this week. Hope you’ll come back soon.

    • I’ve heard a love song about a manatee named Barbara, although it wasn’t nearly this disturbing.

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