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Winifred and Death

by on October 8, 2012

This story was written for this week’s Trifecta prompt, and follows on from the last story about Winifred and Co. Enjoy!

Winifred was completely miserable. She knelt shaking in the squelching mud, tears streaking her face, her stomach queasy after her latest bout of nausea.

She should never have joined up with the Igors’ Union. If she hadn’t, she would never have been confronted with an undead manatee or an alien from outer space that allegedly wanted to eat her brain. Her mother had warned her about this. Well, not about this exactly; her mother’s warning hadn’t been anywhere near horrible manatee experiments. Her mother had been quite certain, though, that Winifred shouldn’t join the Igors’ Union. “You’ll come to a bad end, you will!” she’d said. But had Winifred listened to her? Nooooo.

Then, even as she cried, a shadowy figure swept from the darkness, shrouded in ink-black robes. “Winifred,” it whispered coldly,  “I am Death; I have come to collect your soul.”

“Go away,” Winifred sniffled; she hadn’t exactly heard him, but she really didn’t want to be bothered right now.

“Do you know who I am?” Death said.

“No, and I don’t care. Go. Away.”

Death was taken back. Usually his victims cowered in terror. “I am Death!” he said as impressively as he could. “I come unexpectedly!”

This had no effect upon the distraught Winifred. “Er…” Death ventured. “Are you alright?” It seemed a stupidly obvious question, but he was entirely at a loss.

“No,” Winifred sobbed, “I am definitely not alright. My job stinks. I helped create Frankenmanatee. I don’t even have a cubicle, much less an office with a door.”

It was then that Death got a brilliant idea. “I say, would you rather work for me instead? I’ve been thinking of retiring, you say, and someone’s got to take over. Keep up the good work, so to speak.”

Winifred looked up hopefully. “Would I get a cubicle?”

“A cubicle?” Death scoffed. “My dear, you could have the whole floor.”

“Done,” Winifred said, in what was certain to be a very poor lifestyle decision on her part.

 

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16 Comments
  1. Love the humor in this. Well done.

  2. Hahahaha! Desperate times call for desperate measures. Poor life decision is putting it mildly. Very fun read!!!

    • Yes; clearly, like that one guy in Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, Winifred needs to go home and rethink her life. 🙂

  3. Love this!

  4. Ha, my mother told me there’d be days like this (Frankenmanatee – brilliant). Loved the voice throughout

    • My mother was very good about warning me to brush my teeth and such. Like WInifred’s, though, she was vague on the subject of manatees.

  5. LOL: “I come unexpectedly!”

  6. YES! Go Winnifred 🙂 Very amusing

  7. I think the fact she hoped for a cubicle shows she could use some career counseling 🙂 I think she’s going from one dead-end job to another. Okay, that was lame…

  8. trifectawriting permalink

    A poor lifestyle decision. That’s awesome. Nicely done.

  9. You made me chuckle and think, teenagers!!

  10. Ha. Her career options are so much more interesting than mine…

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