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The Devil Went Down to Asgard

by on February 25, 2013

Last time in  Episode 61 of the Catrina Chronicles, our heroine was in dire straits indeed. Teleported from Earth along with Thrud, the daughter of Thor, she had been confronted with the accusation that she had murdered an alien blob held as a deity by the Zarminnan Community. Stricken, Catrina surrenders in an attempt to face the consequences of her act. Little did she know what she was getting into….

Catrina hated teleporting. She’d never had a good experience with it. And what she really hated was teleporting onto an unknown alien planet that was after her because she had assassinated their god. She wasn’t sure what to expect when she rematerialized: a grim alien dungeon, perhaps? A bug-pit? Something with poison-tipped spikes maybe?

What she didn’t expect was shiny golden walls. Catrina blinked, and looked around, trying to make sense in the light that poured around her. The golden walls towered impossibly high, enclosing a courtyard of rippling fountains and flower gardens ablaze with color. Catrina was almost reminded of Character Heaven, expect that this place had less fluffy clouds and more shininess. She wasn’t sure what to make of it. Then she heard a crash behind her. Whirling, she saw Thrud, spear in hand, having evidently just downed a sizable Asgardian drink, and followed it up by smashing her mug onto the paving stones of the courtyard. “You are welcome,” Thrud said, waving at a nearby elf to fetch her another drink.

“For what?” Catrina asked.

“For bringing you along with me, of course,” Thrud retorted. “I am Thrud, daughter of Thor. Do you think I would allow myself to be transported around the galaxy against my will for long? I brought us here at the first opportunity. We should not be interrupted. Now we can resume our battle!”

“I’d rather not, really,” Catrina replied tiredly. “I really only wanted to ask you about-”

But before she could explain about her quest for Mlrning (the Shovel of Thor!), the elf returned. He handed Thrud the drink she’d requested, but he didn’t leave again; he stood there, nervously scuffling his boots. Thrud glared fiercely at him. “Is there something you desire, Theodore?”

Theodore coughed. “Erm, it seems there’s been a protest lodged in the diplomatic lawsuit. The Zarminnan Community. They want to extradite someone named Catrina for murder.”

“Ha!” Thrud said. “This is Asgard! Their puny insect species has no jurisdiction here!”

“They aren’t filing their suit in their own court,” Theodore said. “They’ve, er, appealed to higher authority.”

“What possible authority….” Thrud paused. “They have not. They would not!”

“They did. They’ve appealed to the Supreme Court of the Meta-Verse.”

“Excuse me,” Catrina ventured. “But I don’t think I know them.”

Thrud spoke in an awed voice. “The Supreme Court of the Meta-Verse has jurisdiction over all the fictional realms. Mythology, stories, even  fanfiction. Their word is binding on every story character known. They can even sentence people to Character Hell.  Which means they do have jurisdiction over us.”

“Oh dear,” Catrina said. “I’m going to need a lawyer, aren’t I?”

“My brother Tyr may be available. He is our god of law. I am sure he would be willing to defend you.”

“I appreciate that,” Catrina said. “I am curious who the prosecutor would be.”

There was a sudden flash of fire, and a cloud passed over the sun, throwing the courtyard into darkness. In a flare of mist shot through with lightning, a man appeared, wearing an elegant suit so black that it almost seemed to drain the golden light from the very walls of Asgard. When the man spoke, his voice was so pregnant with evil power that it might as well have had an evil power baby right there. “I believe I have volunteered for the position.”

“Who are you that dares trespass upon Asgard?” Thrud blazed.

“I am the Prince of Character Hell,” the man said. “And I shall be prosecuting Catrina, as is my right.”

Thrud was about to say something else, but Catrina interrupted, her voice hesitant. “Do I know you? You seem familiar somehow…”

The man smiled. “Indeed. Your author never told you what happened to your brother.”

“No,” Catrina said. “He got mentioned once way back in the first story, but then never mentioned again. I assumed he’d either gone away, or my author had forgotten about him.”

“No….I am your brother.”

“No,” Catrina gasped, her face white with shock. “That’s not true! That’s impossible!”

“Oh, it’s entirely impossible,” he said. “I am Edmund, your brother. Introduced, and then forgotten. Did you even think of inviting me along on your quests? You didn’t even include me when you got married! Never even mentioned! And so, when I heard that the leadership of Character Hell had become vacant, I naturally put in for it. I knew I would be back in this story someday. And so I am. I shall look forward to seeing you at the trial, my dear sister.” He disappeared in another flash of fire.

Catrina’s knees buckled, and scraped the paving stones. She didn’t scream a loud “Nooooo!” or burst into tears. She just knelt there, eyes closed, trying to cope. Thrud knelt beside her. “We do not have to go through with this. I could arrange it with my brother where you would not have to appear at the trial. Or perhaps we could arrange a flight…”

“No,” Catrina whispered, her left hand closing into a fist. “No. I am not running. Not from my brother, anyway. Sure, as the saying goes, a smart man would’ve given up by now. But I’m not a smart man. Or a man, actually. Whatever. Let’s just get on with this sibling rivalry match, shall we?”

To be continued…

This has been another exciting episode of the Catrina Chronicles. For previous episodes, especially the first one where Edmund gets his one and only reference, go here. To get a copy in print or e-book of Catrina in Space, go here. Thanks for reading!

  1. That may be the best title you’ve ever written!
    And for that matter, it may the best title on WordPress!

    • Thanks! I must say, the title was one of my favorite parts about this episode. 🙂

  2. Thank goodness my brother and I didn’t have such a rivalry – a little too much excitement! (I like the title, too.)

    • I have a sister myself; fortunately, we get along quite well, and I wouldn’t even think of leading the prosecution against her even if she were to blow up an alien deity.

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