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by on June 4, 2013

This story was written for Trifecta’s weekly prompt, which was to use the word “freak”, as in “one that is markedly unusual or abnormal”. It’s also the final story in the Volcano Rain series. For now, anyway. You never know.
The Committee was taking no chances. Despite Camille’s protestations, she had been thoroughly searched before she was let on board the shuttlecraft, and cuffed besides. As a final touch, a nanite probe had been injected into her head that would liquify her brain if she moved one centimeter out of line.

It was really unfair, Camille thought. She’d covered the Committee’s war, she’d excoriated the rebels, she’d fake-smiled her way through countless puff pieces. Now she was a replacement sacrifice, all because of that blasted freak Rain. And what had Rain accomplished anyway? She was still dead. Honestly.

Then bam went her shuttlecraft, as a geyser of lava shot past the cockpit, sending rocks and ash scattering everywhere. Camille thought at first that the volcano had erupted prematurely, but then she realized the lava plume was taking form. And…were those eyes?

“HEY,” boomed a titanic voice. “PEOPLE. I SAY TO YOU: STOP SACRIFICING MAIDENS. I NEVER WANTED MAIDENS ANYWAY. YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT?  BACON. YEAH. SACRIFICE SOME BACON, OKAY? THANK YOU. THAT IS ALL.”

 

“Woohoo!” Winifred cheered from the ground. “Go Phil!” A bit of rock flew through the air and nicked her cheek, but she wiped off the smear uncaringly and kept rooting for her guy.

“Hey,” William said, a bit puzzled. “Since when does Death bleed?”

“Um…”

“Where’s Rain?”

“About that…”

Where’s. Rain.”

***

The Committee, in collective shock, sat gaping at the screen in their secure conference room. They had talked about the volcano spirit for years. None of them had really believed.

A dark figure materialized atop the conference table. “Hello,” Rain said. “You blew up my sister. Prepare to die.”

Secretary Mills went for his emergency laser pistol. To his horror, his shot went right through Rain and scorched the wall beyond. She didn’t even flinch. “By the way,” she said, as darkness gathered round her and her eyes flamed, “I’ve got a new job now. Ask me what it is. Go on. Ask.”

 

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From → 1. Volcano Rain

16 Comments
  1. Draug419 permalink

    bahahahhahahaha This is awesome xD Do I hear a touch of Princess Bride in there? 😀

  2. I was not expecting that! Then again, it makes perfect sense. Rain: the avenging angel of death.

    Thank you for linking up!

    • I wasn’t expecting that either when I started this thing. But then Winifred came in and was so unhappy, and, well…..

  3. FABULOUS ending!! I loved each and every bit of this whole series – I just went back and reread it from the beginning, in fact. A super-entertaining read, all the way through. Congrats!

    • Thanks! I’m glad the ending worked, I had worried. Endings are always tricky. Assuming it stays an ending….:)

  4. Nice career change. I think death will suit her just fine! And the bacon sacrifice? Hilarious! Nothing like the smell of sizzling bacon…

    • Indeed there isn’t. Though now I’m wondering what volcano-fried bacon smells like. Yum yum!

  5. “STOP SAYING THAT!” Hehe. Great twist 😀 and great descriptions. And great reference 😉 I often wonder how various volcanoes etc would feel (if animate and sentient) about having maidens chucked down them every five minutes by fervent people under the assumption that they wanted them…
    ‘I’m full up now, no more sacrifices, and why do you keep sending all this raw stuff? Do I have to do ALL the work? If you really want to appease me, bring me a cup of tea!’ or similar expressions of irritation.
    PS, What a very English volcano I just invented! Lol.

    • If I do another story with a sentient volcano in it, it will definitely be English. 😀

  6. Fantastic ending 😀

  7. Mission accomplished – again!

  8. This just keeps getting better and better, seriously – the Volcano Spirit that wants bacon sacrifices instead of maidens? I’d date him, too 😉

    • Bacon sacrifices seem much more practical, anyway. It’s tasty, readily available, and no loss of life involved! (Except for the pigs, of course.)

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