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Fly, You Fool

by on July 10, 2013

This story was written for Trifecta’s weekly prompt, and follows on in the tale of the Third Little Pig. Roll film!

The dungeon door looked like every other dungeon door the Third Little Pig had seen (he’d seen a surprising amount for a pig of his years).  The difference was, this one didn’t have a keyhole visible anywhere. It seemed Prince Evinrude had been right; this door was one of those blasted magical doors that only opened if you said the right word.

The Third Little Pig looked closer, raising his lantern to shed its full light on the door. At a certain angle, he could just make out spidery letters in silver. They spelled out one single word. Fly.

He pulled a dictionary from his pack and consulted it swiftly. The word could be literal, of course; perhaps one just had to say “Fly” aloud and the door would open. But then, no one would be so daft as to write the secret password plain on the door for all to see.

So. One definition of fly was to move in or pass through the air with wings. But he was well underground, and pigs couldn’t fly anyway. A second definition was to fade and disappear. He couldn’t see how turning invisible could help. Then there was the third meaning. He could fly into a fury, perhaps. But how would a show of extreme emotion open the door?

Finally, he decided to skip the magic and the dictionary altogether and try something more practical. In his travels he had spent some time in China. Secret words had nothing on a judicious application of gunpowder.

The door blew open. He stepped through. Inside, next to an empty black cauldron, lay a crowd of fluffy bodies. Penguin bodies. Then, horribly, they began to move.  They lurched, squawking, straight at him. Then he knew what “fly” really meant. It hadn’t been a password or instruction. It had been a warning.  Fly, as in, to flee or escape from.

As the zombie penguins closed in, the Third Little Pig wished he’d read further on in his dictionary.

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18 Comments
  1. Love it! A genius move using the poor third pig as the thread weaving through the piece. Thoroughly enjoyed this :)))

    • I’m glad you enjoyed it! I suppose I should give a name to the Third Little Pig one of these days…. 😀

  2. Oh my! What a cute, horrible fate. Love the way he went through the definitions and then opted to blow it up instead. Awesome work, as always!

  3. KymmInBarcelona permalink

    Hahahaha! You win the special Trifecta suck-up award lol
    Seriously funny, dude. Love the judicious application of gunpowder. And zombie penguins.

    [Suddenly I’m waiting for Rain to swoop in and save the Third Little Pig.]

    • Everybody wanted the zombie penguins on the weekend prompt, so, I gave ’em zombie penguins. As James Bond once said, first rule of journalism: give the people what they want. 😀

      And Rain swooping in would be a VERY interesting twist. I’ll have to think on that. 😛

  4. You smashed a lot of nonsense/references in here – I see the movie poster for this story line looking something like a Die Hard meets Monty Python meets Harry Potter advert – Zombie Penguins! Word Play! Pigs and Magic! Evil Princes!

    • I haven’t quite decided whether Evinrude’s evil yet, though. I have someone else in mind for the primary villain, who hasn’t been revealed yet. I was going to do it for this week’s prompt, but, well, zombie penguins. 😀

  5. Zombie penguins?! That is awesome!

  6. Bryan Ens permalink

    This was wonderful. I love your use of zombie penguins!!

    • Everyone liked them so much on the Marsha the Muse weekend prompt, I figured I should bring them in for this one…

  7. Haha! Gunpowder in lieu of more careful thought has done in many a pig 🙂 Hope pigs can fly ’cause he’s going to need a miracle to get him away from the zombie penguins.

  8. *beams beamishly at you* This is terrific. Exactly what my day was missing–zombie penguins!

    • To paraphrase that old coffee commercial, “The best part of waking up, is zombie penguins in your cup!” 😀

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