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Eulalie’s Dilemma

by on August 14, 2013

This story was written for Trifecta’s weekly prompt, and occurs in the Third Little Pig universe. I think Eulalie and Evinrude deserve each other. 🙂

Lady Eulalie was greatly distressed. The duke of her island colony had gone and married his son off to some random scullery maid instead of her, all because the scullery maid had gotten her foot into a shoe and Eulalie hadn’t. Now the scullery maid was a duchess, and Lady Eulalie was still only Lady Eulalie, all because of ill-fitting footwear! It would have been farcical, if it weren’t so tragic.

So Eulalie had set sail and ridden carriage and even (shudder) slept in common roadside inns, certain that Prince Evinrude would set things right when she reached him. But now, after all her trouble, the prince couldn’t be found. The Lord Chamberlain was quite apologetic, but he really had no idea where Evinrude was. The castle servants had looked everywhere with no luck.

“Well,” Eulalie said frostily, “they obviously weren’t looking hard enough. The prince must be somewhere. I see I shall have to look myself. And when I find him, I shall have words with him about the appalling inattentiveness of his staff! You may lose a button, or a handkerchief, or a spool of thread, but, Lord Chamberlain, you cannot lose a prince!”

She swept off in high outrage into the castle corridors. Some time later, when her wrath had cooled a bit, Eulalie realized that she had no idea into which corridor she had swept, nor how to get back. She was about to call for help when suddenly Evinrude himself came running into the hallway, a drawn sword in his hand. He hardly even noticed her; indeed, his eyes were fixed on the other end of the corridor. Eulalie followed his gaze.

“AYIEEEEEE! A GIANT SNAKE!” she shrieked, displaying an admirable grasp of the obvious. Eulalie suddenly wished she had stayed comfortably on her island, the shoe problem notwithstanding.

  1. “All because of ill-fitting footwear!” made me laugh out loud. Love it.

    • Thanks for the comment; I am glad when people actually laugh out loud when reading a story. 🙂

  2. I can see where Eulalie feels she has a legitimate complaint. I’ve always been a bit suspicious about how one keeps her foot inside a glass slipper anyway…think of the foot sweat!!!! ewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!

    • I hadn’t thought of that. Those things seem more impractical the more one thinks about them. What was the Fairy Godmother thinking?

  3. …and this is what happens when you go chasing men 🙂

  4. Draug419 permalink

    What a wonderfully amusing take on a fairy tale.

  5. All of this trouble from one little shoe. And I thought trying to find a shoe that fits was hard enough!
    Thank you very much for linking up. Please remember to return to vote!

  6. Fun! I love fairytales. I wonder how this one will end?

  7. I wish this could be a cautionary tale for people- You know what happens when you act like a snooty bossy pants, missy? GIANT SNAKES.

    • I’m reminded of an exchange in a season two episode of Buffy.
      “Buffy: I told one lie, I had one drink.
      Giles: Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words “let that be a lesson” are a tad redundant at this juncture.”

  8. I love your re-imagined fairy tales! Love the ill-fitting footwear line – not to mention Lady Auralie’s admirable grasp of the obvious.

    And now I’m suffering from Buffy nostalgia. Giles had some of the best lines.

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