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Monster Problems

by on September 5, 2013

This story was written for Trifecta’s weekly prompt, and continues the saga of the Third Little Pig. Enjoy!

They are coming.”

Eulalie’s terrified whisper echoed in the corridor, as the distant bagpipes grew louder.

“Who’s coming, exactly?” the Third Little Pig said. “Are they worse than the giant snake?”

“Much worse. They’re kelpies, don’t you understand? Kelpies! Water monsters! They’ve plagued my island for years. They’ll drown you in a second if they get the chance!”

“But…” Prince Evinrude said in confusion. “We’re miles from the sea. How could they get here? It’s not as if there’s an underground lake beneath the castle where they could be hiding…. Wait. There is a lake, isn’t there. Oh crap.”

Eulalie made a little gasp at the Prince’s indelicate language. The Third Little Pig rolled his eyes. “Of course there’s a lake. There’s always an underground lake in these things. No one ever asks why they build castles on top of lakes, which gets you all sorts of structural integrity problems, not to mention the occasional lake monster. No, you’ve got to have the underground pond, haven’t you? Honestly.”

“Could we maybe have this discussion later?” Evinrude said. “Specifically, when the kelpies or the giant snake aren’t about to eat us?”

The aforementioned giant snake, meanwhile, had been listening to the distant bagpipes and considering what to do. Aurora hadn’t been thrilled about transforming into a snake; she would have liked to transform into something less slithery, like a swan perhaps. Unfortunately the dark magics that allowed her to manifest herself outside her slumbering body hadn’t given her many options. Evil enchantresses didn’t turn themselves into swans or fluffy cats. Snakes were pretty much it. So here she was, and now it seemed there were other monsters around that she hadn’t reckoned with. What to do?

Aurora decided. She didn’t want the kelpies to get her prey before she could. She lunged towards them with all the grace of a stampeding water buffalo. Evinrude gripped his sword, wondering why he hadn’t just slept in that day and given the whole adventure a miss.





  1. Now I have to google ‘stampeding water buffalo’ to see just how graceful they are…hmmm, a lumbering sort of grace, I see 🙂

    • Lumbering, definitely the right word there. 🙂 True story: I have ridden through a group of water buffalo once. They didn’t stampede or lumber, that I remember; they just stood there. I was on a horse. It was fun. 🙂

  2. Loved the tongue in cheek humour within this remade old childhood fable-too good 🙂

  3. Questionable structural integrity aside, I bet an underground pool is convenient. For sure they must save on the water bill.
    Thank you for linking up. Please remember to return for the voting!

  4. Draug419 permalink

    I’ve always found snakes graceful, but I suppose with size comes a lack in grace. And I’d run too if I heard bagpipes.

    • As would I. Though I did hear a very lovely bagpipe performance earlier this year…but bagpipes out of nowhere? Frightening.

  5. KymmInBarcelona permalink

    Magical creature but not many options? I’d be pissed.

  6. Lance permalink

    Water Buffalo Stampede = cool band name

    I liked the imagery and style of this. I voted for you this week.

    • Thanks! And you’re right, that’s a very good band name. If I ever start a band, I’m going with that.

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