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True Love

by on December 16, 2013

This week’s Trifecta prompt was to write 33 words to make the editors laugh out loud, and spread some festive cheer. I consulted my muse. And a particular Christmas song leaped to mind.  😀

“Bill? Sarah. Listen, I appreciate the thought, but … NO. MORE. BIRDS. Partridges. Turtledoves! I – wait. Someone’s at the door.”


Honestly. Milkmaids? I don’t have a cow, Bill! We’re through, you hear me? THROUGH.”



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  1. This is fantastic!

  2. Your sense of humor cracks me up, At least the golden rings, those are useful (read: sell them on eBay to buy something you really want!)

    • I’ve heard, though, that the golden rings actually refer to gold markings on the necks of pheasants. Which means. …MORE BIRDS.

  3. Aw, she should have at least waited for 9-12, then it would have been a party! 😉 Great work!

    • I’m not sure she’d appreciate a bunch of drummers and pipers milling about, though… 😛

  4. Oh just wait.. the rings will be coming…

    • Assuming that the rings are actually rings, and not references to the gold markings on the necks of a certain type of pheasants, as one theory goes…

  5. Haha! I’ve written an upcoming blog post about the crappy presents featured in this song too. Who wants a bunch of @#*$& birds?!

    A fun read. Great job!

    • You might want birds if you’re an ornithologist, maybe, but otherwise….yeah.

  6. Speaking as a married man, I thought this was particularly funny in the way that husbands and wives miscommunicate and even the best intentions can turn out to be hilarious mistakes. Thanks for writing it 😀

  7. Perfect! Too bad there is no line about “And a shiny new Ferrari.” Great take on the prompt!


    • That would be a nice gift. Alas, the true love’s apparently gone all in for the birds…

  8. I’ve been debating writing a bit of humour about this song…I love what you’ve done with it!

    • It’s a good song to make fun of, other than the Christmas Shoes, that is. Which is next on my list. 😀

      • Bryan Ens permalink

        you’ve actually given me the inspiration I needed to write a poof on “12 Days”. Check it out if you want at (The 12 Haiku of Christmas)

  9. Is it really so bad? I mean lots of those birds are pretty tasty. Anyway, those five gold rings oughta make up for the trouble. 😉

  10. Well, the five golden rings were probably nice. Unless she wears silver. 😉

    Nice work!

    • If not, she can sell ’em on eBay and maybe get enough to cart away the birds. 🙂

  11. lol. That is too funny. 🙂

  12. Funny. I think all those birds would freak me out. LOL ♥

  13. Hahaha Best case I’ve ever heard for regifting!

  14. Ha! I love Frank Kelly’s version of this. Look it up if you haven’t heard it.

  15. Hahaha! Awesome. Maybe Sarah should get a dog?

    • In place of the birds, or Bill? 😀

      • I was thinking to eat all those birds, but the great thing about dogs is it would make a nice replacement for Bill too. 😉

  16. I give Bill an A for effort. Beats some of the gifts out there, I suppose. 🙂 Thanks for linking up and putting a smile on my face this morning.

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