Skip to content


by on January 6, 2014

This story was written for Trifecta’s weekly prompt, which was to use the word “whatever” as a an adverb, “used to show that something is not important. It is also another entry in Constance’s Story. To recap, Constance is a former treasuer-hunter, who became the guardian angel of newlyweds Amy and Steven after she accidentally caused them to meet each other on Christmas Eve. Shortly after their wedding, however, Amy was killed in a bus accident. Constance tried to resurrect her, but unfortunately Amy came back as a zombie. Steven was a bit upset by this, and told Constance he wished she had left them alone. Constance granted his wish, and things went very badly indeed…

Sirens wailed like so many toddlers crying to have their toy back. Steven paid no heed to them, or to the people running headlong past him to get out of the city. They kept yelling at him that he was going the wrong way. Steven didn’t care. Amy was alive. She was somewhere in the city, and so was a gigantic green Godzilla-type monster. Steven had to find her before the monster did.

“Okay,” he said frantically to himself, “If I was Amy, and I was being chased by a monster, where would I go? My basement, that’s where. Amy lives on Third Street. She’s gotta be there. She’s gotta be.” 

He ran towards Third Street hard as he could. Along the way, he noticed that the city had changed somehow. Its buildings had once been charming and quaint; now it looked like Joel Schumacher had set a Batman movie in it. There was more neon, more metal, more hard edges, more smells of oil and Listerine. Steven didn’t know how things had gone wrong, but if he could only find Amy, he was sure it would all be right again.

He rounded a corner onto Third Street, and stopped in his tracks. Piles of smoldering rubble lay before him. Constance was perched on one of the piles. “Hey.”

“Where’s Amy?” Steven demanded.

“I’m not supposed to tell, you dimwit. This is your wish. Live with it.”

“I didn’t want all this!” he yelled, waving at the chaos around him.

“Whatever.  I don’t care what you meant, you still made the wish. I left you alone. So Amy never met you. So she became a ruthless corporate raider, nearly got arrested, lost her job, started making crystal meth, and then fell into a chemical vat. Way to go.”

Steven grabbed Constance by her shirt collar. “Where’s Amy, Constance? Where’s Amy?”

“She’s rampaging over there, through the library!”


“Yeah. She’s not being chased by the monster. She is the monster. Duh.”  



  1. Ha, I totally love that the smell of Listerine is now associated with smarmy 80’s movie sets 🙂

    • Oh, the eighties. Fun times. I was only alive for the last three years of it, but still. 😀

  2. “There was more neon, more metal, more hard edges, more smells of oil and Listerine.” – hahaha…great line! So the moral of the story is be careful what you wish for when your bride comes back as a zombie but wasn’t supposed to? 🙂

    I didn’t see your link on Trifecta…did I just miss it?

  3. Which is a very good moral, to be sure. It’s not going to be a VeggieTales movie anytime soon, but even so…

    and I am so glad you commented, because I actually hadn’t posted my link on Trifecta yet. I could’ve sworn I had. Evidently I brain-blitzed. It’s up there now, though.

  4. latonya permalink

    Way cool.

  5. Very imaginative! Be careful, is right! Bites you in the ass more often than not.

  6. Zombies, monsters, guardian angels with an attitude, life-altering wishes……quite the tale you are weaving. Liking the interplay between the characters. Keep going, my friend. Lots more story left yet. 🙂

  7. Very very nice. I do love a twist.

  8. Momo permalink

    These characters are great and the way you keep unfolding their story is fantastic! Great job!

  9. Draug419 permalink

    Duh. Of course. haha great job.

  10. Duh. Ha! I love that word. Nicely done. Thanks for linking up.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Breathe Dry Bones

Welcome to my world.

Fr. Matthew P. Schneider, LC

Priest, Religious, Moral Theologian, Autistic, Writer, Social Media Guru, etc.

You've Been Hooked!

Observations from the trenches....


The road to the forum is paved with good intentions.

Laissez Faire

Letting Life Lead

Delight Through Logical Misery

Taking the sayings,thoughts and themes that make us happy and ruining them with science and logic and then might come from that. Or at least some sort of smugness that's very similiar.


frightfully wondrous things happen here.

It's Not About A Church

It's about following Jesus ...

that cynking feeling

You know the one I'm talking about . . .

The History of Love

Romantic relationships 1660–1837

polysyllabic profundities

Random thoughts with sporadically profound meaning


Book reviews and general nonsense

Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings

You say you want an evolution...

%d bloggers like this: