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Z is for Zounds

by on March 23, 2014

Last time, in the Catrina Chronicles, our heroine had used the power of Mlrning (the Shovel of Thor!) to drive Cthulhu back into the watery depths from whence he came. Now, she prepares to go on an even more thrilling adventure-

Hold it!” said Catrina, rudely interrupting the opening narration. “I am not adventuring anywhere. I am going on hiatus.”

“But,” said Ermingard, “what about-“

Catrina cut her off. “No. I do not care what it is. I don’t want to hear about Atlanteans, or sea monsters, or Morgana Le Fay and all her wacky nephews. I don’t care if Susan is about to lead her Zambonis of Terror and take over the world. I don’t care if there’s a rogue zebra chasing after a hapless band of traveling musical players and threatening to beat them to death with their own zithers. I’m done.”

“But-” Ermingard tried again.

“Nope,” said Catrina. “Not even if it’s to find the Golden Zebu that’s hidden away in the lost tunnels beneath the Temple of the Second to Last of the Fairly Average Whangdoodles. I am hanging up my questing hat, so to speak. I have twins, Ermie, if you will recall. Newly born twins. I should like to spend some time with them. And also with Perry, now that he’s himself again. More or less.”

Ermingard gave up. And after all, even she with her pessimistic bent had to admit that things seemed to be going well for now. Catrina had saved the world. Everything was right again. Surely the world could stay saved for a few years or so, couldn’t it?

So she, and Catrina, and Perry, and Katrina, and everyone else went happily back to Shmirmingard Castle. And as Catrina popped open a keg of blueberry cordial and began a rousing sing-along, she completely neglected the closing narration of her story arc. Indeed, little did she know that more dire events were lurking just over the horizon.Β  Cthulhu had not forgotten the yodeling princess with the shovel who had escaped his tentacles twice now. Neither had Susan. Neither had Madrigal, Emperor of Atlantis. And even worse, Catrina in her adventures had attracted the notice of an enemy even worse than she had ever faced before. Little did she know how truly terrifying that enemy would be. *dun dun DUNNNNNNN*.

This has been another exciting episode of the Catrina Chronicles. For previous episodes, go here. For Catrina’s adventures on Amazon, go here. Thanks for reading!

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  1. Robert permalink

    I’m glad Catrina gets to take a break. Look forward to your next serial whenever you get back to writing.

  2. ‘hidden away in the lost tunnels beneath the Temple of the Second to Last of the Fairly Average Whangdoodles.’ This line right here could be the prime example of why your writing appeals to me so much. It seems like a silly little thing, but it’s my favorite kind of thing πŸ™‚

    • You’re too kind. πŸ™‚ (But seriously, I should mention, “The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles”, by Julie Andrews, is a smashing good read.)

  3. Catrina just can’t catch a break. Even when things seem to be going well… they aren’t!

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