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Sportsing

by on March 28, 2014

So, every once in a while, I thought I should write something on this blog that is not a short story. Not that I don’t mind writing stories, I do; I very much enjoy chronicling the adventures of Catrina, or Rain, or Hadley Baxendale, or Captain Happily Married. But I do like to mix things up once a bit. So here is a post that does not spring from my imagination, no, this is Real Life. And what shall I write about?  SPORTS.

But, you say, why would you write about sports? When it comes to that topic, to quote what’s her face from Game of Thrones, you know nothing, Jon Snow. Ah, I reply, but that is not entirely true. I don’t have the institutional knowledge about it, I don’t know what team holds the record for undefeated games in the NCAA, I don’t know what a wide receiver does or why he does it, and I never read the sports columns in the paper. My friends on Facebook make detailed posts about these things, and to me it sounds like “Well, Dayton should win because the cuckoo bird is in the banana tree, and pi to the 42nd is the inverse of X to the 17th power, and that’s why the Lord made little green apples.”   But, where I’m from, sports is unavoidable.

I live in southern Indiana, right across the river from Louisville, Kentucky. You may have heard of our basketball team. We won the championship last year (and there was great rejoicing). But there is another basketball team a short distance down the interstate, from the University of Kentucky. You might say there is a bit of a friendly rivalry between these two teams. You might also say that the Hatfields and McCoys had a slight disagreement. Or that the story of Noah was about a boat.

Each side has its customs, its references, its Twitter hashtags. Louisville has L1C4, rise and repeat, CardNation. UK has Big Blue Nation, or #BBN. Both sides have a cheer in which they spell their team’s name. Both sides have their revered icons: UK has John Calipari, UofL has Rick Pitino. And both sides will gleefully talk trash about the other side. It’s all in a spirit of good fun, generally; of course, there are people who take it too far. One hears tales of marriages splitting over it, though one also hears tales of people marrying despite these differences, and resolving the crisis by simply watching the game in separate rooms, that sort of thing. At any rate, most of the year things don’t get too dramatic. But then, around every March or so, we have the NCAA basketball tournament.

Last year UK didn’t make the Big Dance, as they call it; rather, UK went off to the NIT and got defeated by Robert Morris, a school named after one of the only two people to sign the Constitution, the Articles of Confederation, and the Declaration of Independence (now you know!)  Meanwhile, Louisville went on to win the national championship. You might say that the citizens of the Big Blue Nation were somewhat upset about this. But then the two teams met again last December, and UK won. So now here we are in the Sweet Sixteen round of the NCAA, and UK and UofL will be playing each other. You know how intense it was in the finale of Avatar: the Last Airbender when Azula and Katara faced off against each other? It’s like that. People are Taking Sides.

I don’t know who’s going to win, naturally. I can name a few members of the teams, and the coaches, and that’s as far as I go. But I suppose you’re wondering who I am rooting for. Well, ordinarily I would go for Indiana, but we don’t have anyone in the thing this year (alas). So I have to pick. And, of course, there is only one choice. I am from what some condescendingly refer to as “Louisville North” (ha ha, we are all highly amused). UK fans may bleed blue (which seems an unusual medical problem: y’all should have that checked), but I am a redshirt all the way. I even know the cheer. C. A. R. D. S. Goooooo Cards. Rah.

Thank you for your consideration, as Jennifer Lawrence’s character would say (she roots for Louisville, too, incidentally. I’m on the right side). I may have more sports posts later, depending on events. Meantime, stay tuned for more random stories involving sentient shades of mauve, and death angels named Rain.

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One Comment
  1. I could maybe take more of an interest in sports if it was you writing about it, but I think it would be even more interesting if one of the teams wore sentient mauve and the quarterback was a death angel named Rain. We WERE talking about football, right? 😉

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