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Rain Comes Unexpectedly

by on June 18, 2014

He taught me how to read people’s eyes. But, darn it, he never said anything about bunny eyes!  Never! You’d think with all that detective advice my mentor would’ve said something about bunny eyes, but nooooooo. Stupid Blue.

Okay, Hadley. Stay calm. Play dead. It thinks you’re dead. You’re dead, you’re dead, you’re dead, you died, you’re dead. The bunny doesn’t want to see dead people, right? Of course, right. Just keep walking, bunny, there’s a good bunny, you’re not interested in the dead person, come on, keep going…

Hadley’s brilliant plan might have worked, except for one small problem. She was in hell. By definition, everyone in hell was deceased. Also, everyone in hell got sorted pretty quickly once they arrived. The bunny knew this well enough, and it knew that Hadley shouldn’t be where she was.

The bunny stopped, looked at her, and then in a blur of swiftness heaved her off the ground and slammed her up against the wall of the chamber. It roared something fierce and unintelligible at her. Hadley attempted to inform the bunny that she didn’t speak its language, but she would be happy to go and fetch a translator. Unfortunately, its mighty paw had closed around her throat. She choked out a few desperately syllables, but the bunny didn’t seem to care. Hadley had never given much thought to how she would die, but she certainly wouldn’t have thought she’d go out being choked by a bunny in the depths of hell.

Then, quite out of nowhere, a large metal pod clanged against the bunny’s head. The horrible monster turned. Rain stood calmly in the doorway. “Put her down,” Raid said. “Now.”

The bunny dropped Hadley, and started towards Rain. “I am the incarnation of Death, you idiot,” she said. “I’ve faced much worse than you.”

It tried anyway, swinging a massive paw in a blow that could’ve taken out a semitruck under normal circumstances. Rain kaboomed back through the doorway and out of Hadley’s sight. She coughed nervously as the bunny turned towards her again. It didn’t look like playing dead was a winning strategy. She could try running, of course, but the bunny blocked her way.

And then Rain was there again, stalking grimly right back into the room. “I said, I’m Death. You can’t kill me. I’m invulnerable. Duh.”

It didn’t seem like the bunny had quite grasped the concept yet. It swung another blow that sent Rain right through the left wall, through a corridor, and smashing through at least five more walls. Hadley peeked through the gaping wreck of the wall, and caught a quick glimpse of high towers and skewed terraces, a dizzying array of battlements and angles, and everything all twisted wrong somehow. It was hell, she reminded herself for the zillonth time. Nothing here had to make sense.

And here came Rain again, still evidently unharmed, and now very much ticked off.  “Right,” she said to the bunny. “You’ve had your fun. Smashed things. Huzzah for you. Now, my turn.”

Darkness swooped in. Hadley couldn’t see anything for several agonizing seconds. Then the darkness was gone, and the bunny lay lifeless on the floor. “How did you…”  Then Hadley decided that she really didn’t want to know the answer. “Okay then!” she said. “Now what?”

“Now,” Rain said. “We leave. Or rather, you leave. I’m going to find out what’s going on here, but you’re not. You’re mauve. Mauve doesn’t belong in hell, mauve belongs out in the living world with the rest of the color spectrum.”

“Hey, wait a minute,” Hadley protested. “You pushed me in here, remember?”

“That was a mistake. I shouldn’t have done it.”

“Well, you did. And it’s not like I just wandered on scene to be pushed. My planet got blown up, remember, and I want to find out why.” Hadley took a breath, wondering why she didn’t just let Rain get her out. “I don’t care where it leads. I want to know why.”

Rain shrugged. “Fine. It’s your call.”

A short pause followed. “So…” Hadley ventured. “Um, how do we find out why?”

“Start at the top,” Rain answered. “Or in this case, the bottom. We’ll talk to You Know Who.”

“You mean…..”


“Oh dear.”

For previous entries in Hadley’s Story, go here. This entry’s nearly late, I know, but I’ve been swamped with bar exam review this week. Very sad.

  1. Yay! The bunny’s back. Brilliant, as always! 🙂

  2. I think it would be pretty hard to read a bunny’s eyes seeing as they generally don’t stick around long enough for you to get too close. 🙂

  3. Your dedication is inspiring! This was hilarious as always – love the tone Rain uses on the bunny “Huzzah for you.” Brilliant 🙂
    All the best on your exam.

    • Thanks! Any time I can use the word “huzzah”, I try to work it in. It’s a good word.

  4. I enjoyed this segment, but could have nightmares about being choked by bunnies with bad intentions 🙂 I think Hadley should’ve taken the chance to get the heck out of there (although ‘hell’ would work, too 🙂 ) but I guess there wouldn’t be a story in that!

    • Nope. As long as I’m in the metaphorical hell of bar exam prep, so’s Hadley. 😀

  5. Oh dear, indeed. Though I think I’d feel more optimistic about facing You Know Who with Death at my side… 🙂

  6. hah! Your ending is fantastic, so understated. And the opposite of the rest of the story. Well done!

  7. This is hysterically frightening and frighteningly hysterical. Love it!

  8. Meg permalink

    BUNNY! BUUUNNNNYYY! I love this, of course. Thank goodness for Rain. Another brilliant installment.

  9. Man, that is a seriously tough bunny. Loved the action in this and the quirky dialog. So inventive and humorous at the same time. I like it!

  10. I can’t tell you how in love I am with these evil bunnies…

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