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Enter the Wombat

by on September 11, 2015

Previously in the adventures of Gaseous Girl, our heroine was attempting to investigate the origins of Lady Emma Featherson-Cloud when she was suddenly attacked by her nemesis, Hiccup Holly. Holly is now threatening to explode a schoolbus unless Gaseous Girl surrenders. Roll film! 

“I can’t believe you’re threatening to explode a loaded school bus!” Gaseous Girl said. This rather obvious statement had a motive; Gaseous Girl wanted to stall Hiccup Holly as long as possible in hopes that something would develop to break the standoff. Maybe Natalie would swing by with her nigh-invulnerability, or Lucy with her lightning bolts.

“Yeah, and I’ll do it in the next ten seconds unless you surrender, like, now!” Hiccup Holly said. “Ten!”

If there was one thing Madeleine hated, it was a countdown. “But, the children!” she exclaimed desperately. “Their education! The classrooms of America hold the future leaders of tomorrow!”

“Oh, please. That is so cliche,” Hiccup Holly said. “Besides, you know what kids are like these days. Future America will thank me. Nine.”

“Cliche? Cliche?” Gaseous Girl snapped. “What’s more cliche than the Bus Full of Innocents thing you’re doing here? I’m surprised you aren’t setting up a Sadistic Choice by threatening to explode my Love Interest!”

“Funny thing. I would’ve, but I couldn’t find your Love Interest. I’m not even sure you have one. Eight.”

Gaseous Girl smiled. “Well, sucks to you, then, because I do have one. We’ve got a date planned for Saturday night!”

“Oh, sure you do,” Hiccup Holly said. “Sure. Seven.”

Madeleine actually didn’t have a date for Saturday; she hadn’t yet responded to Evan’s request about their next meeting. But she wasn’t about to tell her nemesis that. “Yes, in fact, I do. We’re going to have a nice low-key coffee date at….” With horror she realized she was blanking on the name of the coffee place.

“Liar!” Hiccup Holly said, chortling. “Six!”

“You’re threatening to explode a bus; you’ve hardly got the moral high ground here,” Gaseous Girl commented.

“Oh yeah? Well…..yeah.” Hiccup Holly paused, not sure what to object to that. “Five?”

“Don’t you have any conscience at all? I know you’re not totally messed up. We stopped that apocalypse a while back, didn’t we?”

“Hey, I don’t want the world smashed up because of some stupid collapsing anomaly, ‘kay? I’m still evil. Four.”

“And why not?” Gaseous Girl pressed. “Because if you were really absolutely evil you wouldn’t care if the world got smashed, would you?”

“I still want to, like, live, you know?” Hiccup Holly returned. “Three.”

“”Exactly!” said Gaseous Girl, trying hard to remember the speech and rhetoric class she’d taken in college. “Life! Life is good! Life has…hamsters, and summer rainbows, and shoes, and brown paper packages tied up with strings!”

Hiccup Holly’s eyes narrowed. “Wait a second, I know that line, that’s from the Sound of-”

There was a sudden wham. Hiccup Holly went flat on the ground. The bus rumbled by on its way, entirely unharmed. Gaseous Girl sighed in relief, as a figure in a cape and cowl skidded to a stop beside her. “Ah, good. I was hoping someone would show up. Hey, you’re new.”

“Yeah. I’m the Wombat.”

“The…Wombat.”

“Yep.”

“Oy.”

 

 

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8 Comments
  1. Kir Piccini permalink

    This story had me giggling all the way to Oy. And Oy…is one of my very favorite words. 😉

  2. Hilarious! Love the dialogue. Couldn’t find your love interest — BURN.

    But tell me, is the wombat thing totally out of nowhere? Because this is the third separate wombat reference I’ve seen on writing sites in as many days. Is this a sign? Are the wombats invading? Or was everyone else invited to the big wombat party and nobody told me? Never mind, it’s the second one, I know. (pout)

    • As far as I know, the Wombat has been a character I’ve wanted to introduce in the Gaseous Girl stories for a while; I had started to write a Gaseous Girl novel a while back and created him then. But wombats, like the Lord, move in mysterious ways. Maybe they are invading. Next thing you know it’ll be like Planet of the Apes, but with wombats! *gasp*.

      • Your attempts to feign innocence only further implicate you. Clearly you are also invited to the wombat party and are trying to throw me off. Planet of the Wombats? More like Disco of the Wombats, I’d say! Or perhaps the wombats are more wine-and-cheese types. How would *I* know? Humph.

        But really, can you get me in? Maybe your friend with the cape has connections. (wink wink)

      • I will have to consult with her about it. 🙂 Suffice it to say, though, if there’s a real wombat party out there, I think everyone ought to be allowed in. Ain’t no party like a wombat party ’cause a wombat party don’t stop. I hear.

  3. Ha! Love the dialog between the two of them. That was hilarious. And poor GG needs to get her relationships in order. I know it’s hard to to that and be a superhero. Wait, maybe it’s better with out a BF. I mean, HH would just place him in a deadly trap. Maybe GG has it figured out. I’m looking forward to see what The Wombat does. Oy!

  4. It’s all fun and games until the Wombat shows up. Or something like that. Another great chapter in Gaseous Girl’s adventures. I’m looking forward to seeing where this is going. 🙂

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