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The God Who Was Tuesday

by on January 26, 2016

The gray shuttle skidded into a bumpy landing, sending up sprays of red dust. It wasn’t one of Mr. Stamper’s better landings, but the otter believed that any landing one walked away from was a good one. Besides, it wasn’t like his passengers cared.

The shuttle was purely for Mr. Stamper’s convenience. Constance, being an angel, could fly quick as lightning. Gaseous Girl possessed the ability to control the gaseous state of matter, and thus provided her own air supply on space voyages. The incarnation of Death didn’t need air, or a mode of travel, at all. But Mr. Stamper was not an immortal incarnation, nor an angel, nor a superheroine. He was only an otter. He had, therefore, required the use of his shuttle.

Now that they had landed safely, the otter powered down the engines and unstrapped himself from the pilot’s chair. He then pressed the comm button. “Attention, ladies and immortals, we’ve now landed on Mars. Looks like winter out there, so temperature’s probably couple hundred below. I gather that doesn’t matter to you lot. I’ll need a space-suit myself.”

“You could just stay with the ship,” Constance said archly. “We can find the Holy Grail from here, thanks.”

“Good luck, angel,” Stamper said, and switched off the comm.  There was a long pause, then the distinctive whir-whoosh of the shuttle’s hatchway coming open. Constance strode boldly out onto the desolate Martian landscape. Gaseous Girl surrounded herself with a protective hot air bubble and followed, as did the dour Rain. Mr. Stamper watched as the three figures huddled on the barren rock.  Then, the angel turned and gestured irately at him. The otter smiled.

It took several moments for him to don a proper spacesuit and make his way outside. Constance grumbled something inaudible. Gaseous Girl cut bluntly to the chase. “We need your help to find the Grail, okay? You said it’s on Mars. Where on Mars?”

“That way,” Mr. Stamper said, pointing.  A tall rocky obelisk loomed in the distance. “We’ll have to be careful as we approach it.”

“Let me guess,” Gaseous Girl said, sighing. “Aliens?”  Being a superhero, one tended to be more accepting of the existence of extraterrestrial lifeforms. It wasn’t nearly as complicated as time travel things, or portals to other universes. Another planet had people on it. Big deal.

“No,” Mr. Stamper replied. “Gods. Specifically, a god.”

Rain turned, her dark cloak billowing grimly around her. “It wouldn’t be a god of war, would it? Because I know one. Milroy Birnbaum. We had a date once.”

Constance’s eyes lit up. “Oh-ho! A date! You never told me you had a date! How’d it go? Did you have a second one? Third? What’s he like? Did you-”

Rain might have answered the angel’s flood of questions, or she might have declined, making an acid remark about privacy in the process. They would never know. A sudden loud crack split the air. The ground nearby buckled open, red rock falling away into a gaping hole. Even as Mr. Stamper fought to keep his balance on the rumbling earth, he realized that the hole didn’t look natural. It was too square.  And, inside it, he thought he glimpsed sloping flat rock. Then the rumbling grew louder. It wasn’t just the ground.

Spitting smoke and fire, a massively armored tank growled up out of the hole. It lumbered ponderously to a stop in front of them, and the hatch on top clanked open. A tall figure in armor almost as heavy as the tank’s emerged. Mr. Stamper couldn’t even see the face; it was all metal and sharp edges. Then the figure spoke, its deep bass voice booming out over the Martian plain. “Leave my planet. Now.”

Gaseous Girl had averted nuclear apocalypses, plural; she was not intimidated by a deep-voiced clown in armor. “Yeah, no. We’re not leaving. And who are you, anyway?”

“I am Tuesday, god of war,” the man boomed. “You will leave, or you will die.”

Constance waved her hand, and quite suddenly it held a glowing sword. Its golden light spilled across her face. “Wanna bet?”

Rain threw back her cloak. Gaseous Girl flamed up. Constance leveled her sword. Mr. Stamper, meanwhile, made use of the diversion to make a swift, practical retreat. This wasn’t his fight. The Grail, on the other hand, was something else.


This story follows Party of Three, and Three Plus One. Thanks for reading!

 

 

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9 Comments
  1. Curses on a Tuesday! Fie on this infernal word count! Damn you…damn you for sucking me into a space otter-sy!

  2. “Another planet had people on it. Big deal.” I like how you write Stamper’s world traveling to Mars and hanging out with assorted failed superheroines harkens to the movie Office Space more than it harkens to SuperFriends.

    • I’ve never actually seen Office Space. I shall add it to my Netflix queue. I have seen a few episodes of Super Friends…. including a Super Friends-like video where Batman and Robin teamed up with Scooby Doo and Co. There were Bat-cookies and Bat-milk. It was…. what it was.

  3. I couldn’t comment last week, so I’m going to gush a bit today! I love Mr Stamper! He’s so amazing. I think he’s the best otter I’ve ever met. I really am enjoying all of these stories, and can’t wait to see where their journey to the Holy Grail takes them next. Keep at it. I’m giggling every other line, only cuz if I giggled at every line, I’d probably have a hernia or something. 😀

    • I rather like Mr. Stamper myself. 🙂 I’m curious to know how many other otters you’ve met. ..

  4. I go through these phases of being very involved in yeah write and commenting and keeping up with blogs, and then dropping off the grid for a while, and I always love/hate coming back to your writing especially because your characters are always so good and I want to know what I have been missing this whole time if they have done anything else.

    Constance made me laugh out loud, I can’t believe there are otters and Gods of Tuesday involved.. I just love everything about this and the characters. MORE MORE MORE!

    • More you shall have! 🙂

      I have gone through the same phases myself, on occasion; most recently this past December when I was on honeymoon, so I understand the feeling of dropping off and coming back. I was just thinking I hadn’t seen you on the grid for a bit….

      • Yup, it’s been a while for me, hah! Thanks for noticing. I’ll be back for a while I hope. Congrats on the wedding, and I can’t wait to read more!

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