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Family Time

by on March 29, 2016

“Mommy, the world tilts!”

“Yes, dear,” Super Soccer Mom said automatically. Her voice had a faint buzz to it; it always did when she mentally interfaced with her electronically enhanced soccer ball robot Winston. “Justin, what about the Wombat?”

The Captain’s voice rumbled from Winston’s speakers. It was punctuated by small thuds. “Tasha, you cannot be serious! The one with the burrowing power?”

“Suppose the expedition finds something, like another planet?” Tasha said sensibly. “It might have something going on underground. We might need a good burrower. Hang on.”  She turned and yelled at another of her children, who was just about to set fire to a laundry hamper. “Sauna, don’t. Remember: no fires inside the house.”

“Moooo-oom,” the teenager whined, in the manner that teenagers usually do.

“But, mommy,” the first child, somewhat younger, said again. “The world tilts!”

“Yes, it does that,” Super Soccer Mom said. Then she divided her attention again. “Justin, I’m back. Wait. Saun a Aurora Case, you stop that right-“

“Sorry,” Sauna grumbled, and slammed her door. There was a faint whiff of ash.

“Back again,” Super Soccer Mom said. “How’s the battle going?”

She heard five or six thuds, each sounding progressively louder. Then she heard the Captain yelling “Son of a mailman!” and other innocuous expletives. “Right, then,” she said, switching away momentarily.

“Mommy, it tilts! Won’t we fall off?”

“That’s ridic-” she started to say. Then she looked into her child’s wide eyes, and realized he really was quite concerned that the tilting of the world meant that he and everyone he knew might plunge into the void of space. She thought very quickly how to answer. She did not have time for a lengthy explanation of gravitational and centrifugal forces, of axial tilts and the changing of the seasons. The kid would cover that in science class later, anyway. She settled for calm yet vague reassurance.

“No, we won’t fall off. No one’s fallen off yet, have they?”

A small nose scrunched up. “No, but…. couldn’t Daddy push it and make it straight?”

Again she had to think. Other kid’s moms could say no right off, and maybe even laugh. But Captain Happily Married was gifted with boundless strength. He might very well be able to tilt a planet. She’d honestly never asked. She made a mental note to ask, just out of curiosity, then returned to the matter. “If it was straight, it would change the weather. Mess with the seasons. It-”

“Why?” came the inevitable question.

She fell back on the inevitable answer. “Because I said so.” Then she spun to the hovering Winston. “Cartoon. Now.”

Winston beeped and immediately projected something from Looney Tunes on a nearby wall. The child was instantly distracted. Then Winston’s speakers buzzed. “Tasha?” came the Captain’s strained voice. “I might require some assistance here!”

Tasha sighed. She’d have to make another call to the babysitter. She prayed Hope didn’t have exams that night; otherwise she’d have to engage a civilian babysitter. Civilian babysitters and powered-up kids didn’t mix well. “On the way,” she said, reaching for her cape. Just once, she really did wish the world would stay saved. Just once.

 

 

 

 

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11 Comments
  1. Favorite: “Sauna, don’t. Remember: no fires inside the house.” LOL By all means set your fires Ms. Emo Teen just not in the house. LOL

    I also detected a hint of the Incredibles in there.

    Loved it as usual. You don’t disappoint!

    • For background, Sauna’s power is that she can generate extremely high temperatures, sort of like fire-bending without the flames. This can be problematic when one is an emo teen. 🙂
      The Incredibles is my favorite Pixar movie, with the possible exception of Ratatouille. So much wisdom in that movie. Like the inadvisability of monologuing, for instance.

  2. Ah, the hassles of balancing work and family; it’s a universal problem. Even more so when it’s this hard to find a good babysitter. Love the last line about wishing the world would stay saved!

    • I believe The Incredibles had a similar line at the beginning; this story was sort of a homage to that. 🙂

  3. heheh I was instantly thinking Incredibles as I read this. 🙂 Holly Hunter’s voice kept echoing back at me from Super Soccer Mom. Wonderful story as usual!

    • I don’t think I’ve seen Holly Hunter in a movie since I watched Twister some years ago, but now that you mention it…. 🙂

      • Haha Twister was actually Helen Hunt. Holly Hunter was the voice of the mom in Incredibles but the same goes for her. Other than BvS I haven’t seen her since the 90s. Lol

      • Ah, of course. I got my Hs mixed up. 🙂

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