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The Problem of Legs

by on July 6, 2019

This story is part of, and uses characters from, The Angel Chronicles. Also, as this story was written for Yeah Write’s weekly writing prompt, it relies on a photo prompt included below.

Legs, Window, Car, Dirt Road, Relax, Woman, Outdoor
Image by lisa runnels from Pixabay 

It was early morning at the gas station. Pickup trucks rolled leisurely in and out, their owners swinging by for morning coffee and donuts. A field of corn stretched away in the distance outside. Clouds piled up on the horizon, promising storms. Francesca waited by the door, watching for an opportunity.

Then a car rolled in from the road across from the station, tires scrunching in the dirt. A pair of legs draped out the window. Shoes at the end, no laces. Francesca narrowed her eyes. The legs looked feminine enough. Perfect. Francesca started towards the road, but checked herself just in time and looked for a crosswalk. She didn’t want to go through all that again. “Stupid human traffic rules,” she groused as she made her way towards the car.

“Excuse me, ma’am!” she called. “I need your legs!”

“What?”

“No, I mean, erm, I need to look at your legs.” Francesca coughed. “Let me explain. I’m an angel, see, and I’m on undercover assignment, and I’ve got to get a good human disguise. My last one got blown in Ankara. Long story. I’ve put together a good replacement one mostly, Farrah Fawcett hair, all that, but I’m having a hard time getting those right. Can I look at yours?”

The woman seemed highly insulted. She whipped out a taser from her purse. “You back off right now, sister, or I’m calling the cops!”

Francesca raised her hands slowly. “Oh dear. Look. I’m an angel. I’m okay. Let me just turn on my halo-”

To her alarm, however, her halo wasn’t in her pocket where she had safely stashed it. The next moment, the woman had fired the taser. Francesca fell to the ground twitching and yelping. In human form, tasers worked on angels the same as everyone else.

Later that day, at the same gas station after the cops had left, the same woman lingered. She made her way over to a bank of long disused pay phones, and dialed. “Leon? Me. Yeah. Coast is clear.”

A puff of ash, and a battered form materialized next to her. “Surprised you got out so easy,” she said.

“Ah, halo-head security is for crap,” Leon said. “So. Nice acting.”

“No problem. She’s going to have trouble explaining herself to the local PD. ” she said. “What’s with you and her anyway?”

“She busted me for some stupid thing. I pranked some punk halo-head, she got me back. Got me in trouble with the boss. Then she dragged me up to halo-head jail. Now she’s stuck in Earth jail.” Leon smiled, pulled a halo out of his pocket, tossed it in the air, and caught it neatly. “Perfect.”

5 Comments
  1. Lovely story. This was good fun !

  2. haha. No matter when I come back to read one of these, the situations always tickle me. These snapshots of antics are always a surprise.

  3. MM Schreier permalink

    This is definitely fun and ties nicely to the previous week’s story. I haven’t read your other pieces in this series (yet) so I might have been a little confused at the end. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to know who Leon was. I’m going to have to make time to read the series so I can keep up with these fun characters!

  4. Hello! Thanks for another fun romp! I liked how you described the legs in such detail and the reason behind it (Francesca being so concerned about having correct legs)! For some reason the idea of her having to cobble together a body distracted me because I had assumed the angels used earthly versions of their angelic bodies (and that they’d already have perfect legs). I also didn’t understand why she was arrested (it seems more like Francesca could have the woman arrested for attacking her with a taser). Because Leon had a hand in Francesca’s troubles, I wasn’t sure that I got a sense of schadenfreude (more of a sense of revenge). Maybe just me! Thanks again for sharing!

    • My wife, who’s also usually my editor, had a similar critique. 🙂 I was trying to go for less of a physical Frankensteiny put-together-a-body idea and more of a changing-one’s-appearance thing, like someone changine their hair or eye color, but I could see how that came across wrong. 🙂 Thanks for the comment!

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