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Our Souls, Our Selves

by on January 29, 2020

“Right, all of you, listen up!” Tasha said, primly tapping her clipboard. “Okay, here’s how it’s going to work. You’ll all be sorted into the Pearly Gates in just a moment. First, though, some of you are going to be detained just a bit, only an eon or two, yes, Purgatory’s real, sorry about that. Right, I need the following people to step over here, please!” She glanced down at the clipboard, squinting in the light of her halo. “Payson? Payson Smith?”

One of the souls stepped forward. Tasha almost dropped the clipboard in astonishment. It was her own self. It looked exactly like her, except without the halo and a little more tired around the ghostly eyes, but nonetheless, it was her. Tasha glanced back towards the Pearly Gates and wondered if she should call in Peter for this. “No,” she said firmly to herself. “I am an angel. There must be an explanation.”

She took firm hold of the clipboard. “Right,” she said. “Who are you?”

“Payson,” the soul said dully. “So, I’m up for Purgatory? Why?”

“Erm.” Tasha said, checking her papers. “Well… you did kinda slack off on a lot of things… and there was that guy, the one on the bike…”

“If you were me, you’d know,” Payson said. “I had a rough life, you know?”

Tasha looked at the worn out soul. “You aren’t a clone or anything, are you?”

“A what?”

“Never mind,” Tasha sighed. “I suppose I’ll never know. Okay. We’ll let it slide, this once. I won’t tell Peter if you won’t.”

Payson flashed her a grateful smile, and started towards the Pearly Gates. Tasha smiled back as Payson moved past her. She felt nice, having helped a fellow soul escape the troubles of Purgatory, even if it wasn’t as bad as the other place- then, she sniffed. Tasha had just caught a distinct hint of sulfur.

Instinctively, she grabbed her halo and threw it. It hit Payson with a bang and a flash of golden light. Payson’s appearance changed into something distinctively worm-shaped. “Ow!” she hissed, her voice less Tasha-sounding and much more irritated than before. “That wasn’t fair!”

“Well, neither was trying to sneak in!” Tasha said in high outrage. “Begone, foul menace!”

“Look, have a heart,” the creature whined. “I really did have a bad day. I put in for a transfer from Circle Ten. It’s a frozen lake of ice. You know how much it sucks guarding ice for all eternity? But the boss says no. Says every circle’s full. Then he jabs me in the spleen with a pitchfork!”

“Didn’t know you guys had spleens,” Tasha said.

“Well we do, and it hurts,” the creature sulked. “So I figured I’m good at disguise, yeah? Thought I’d disguise myself, sneak in here, rest a bit. ‘Least it’s not ice.”

This time Tasha wasn’t tempted at all. “Well,” she said briskly, “You can’t. Not falling for that one again. Bye!” The clouds parted, and the creature disappeared, giving a last frantic scream before it fell.

“Okay,” she said , turning back to the waiting line, its members looking distinctly more nervous now. “Next?”

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4 Comments
  1. Well that didn’t go the way I expected. LOL. I like how I can just jump into this universe from wherever and it still works. Halo as a weapon…I dig it. Pitchfork in the spleen? I believe it. I do wonder what happened to the real Payson..the one in the records 🙂

  2. Even demons need a vacation, right? The worst part of that demon’s situation was it would be frozen while guarding the ice lake, so even if something were to happen that defense was needed it wouldn’t be able to move.

  3. I hope Tasha writes a memoir… I’ll bet there are a lot of stories. 😉

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